eating food just makes you hungry for more food/ a mountain, a marriage

from in the hard blue light by extinction of animals

	/

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lyrics

"eating food just makes you hungry for more food."
she sighed and played with
her
fork.
with her finger
she drew
circles and crosses
in the sauce
shallow
in
her
bowl.
she was thinner
than when we last met.
in the cavernous shadow of the western
freeway.
and that time I swore
that I wouldn't let her go.
but she texted that night
from an airport lounge
and sailed away like a breath.
loved a man who worked in a
fishery
on the banks
of a great lake.
somewhere with mountains and
mirrors of forest and cloud.
what called you back?
i asked
and held my breath and she sighed
"i don't know."
and she stopped swirling in her sauce.
stared.
"words.
i couldn't keep running from the words.
you know?
i need to make the words fit.
you?"
well, I was at a loose end.
and here is close to my mum.
she still has all my stuff.
all my life in pink plastic boxes
piled
in her attic
and her shed.
all my life
in
pink
plastic
boxes.
"that's a bit embarrassing.
i've rid myself of that baggage."
and she looked like she had.
translucent, almost transparent.
barely anchored and
ready to fly
away again
on the next breath. and
i knew.
i had
to leave.
i gotta go
i said.
standing,
she stopped, briefly
"oh. that's a shame.
i had hoped we could,
you know..."
the words dangled.
her thin hands hung limp from
dark braceleted wrists.
nah.
i
gotta
go.
i have a life to unpack and
discard.
and I gotta go.
"ok.
well.
this was nice.
it's a shame."
yeah.
k.
bye.
and the sun outside felt warm and glorious
so
i
ran.

a mountain
a marriage
strong arms and quick words
blood on blue
pointing and pierced
wholly engaged and red banded
when the mountain sings
and strings
and the words torrent
smile bursts like a huge
glowing sun
burn me
i love
you
i love you
i love
you
i love you